He struggled to find the truth,
but it eluded him. She could
see it reflected in his ever-
shifting eyes; they defied him,
revealed his delusion.
His claim—that his facts were
derived from legitimate sources,
that he didn’t, as she suspected,
glean his talking points from
memes—was laughable.
Point-by-point, he spouted,
nearly verbatim, the talking
points of the far right; he
repeated debunked conspiracy
theories as though gospel.
And she listened, frightened
by the deceit he’d come to
accept, embrace, believe,
regurgitate. But she held
her tongue.
She knew there was nothing
she could say, no data she
could present, no source she
could cite, that wouldn’t be
met with derision, dismissal.
For he was lost in a fog of
lies, and an unquestioning
acceptance of only those beliefs
with which he agreed. He was
steadfast, static, immovable.
And, despite her fear, she was
envious, at times, of his commitment,
of his tribe, of his unwavering
belief, of his alternate reality. And
then she caught herself.
No. I will not dismiss all that
I know, all that I have learned.
No man is worth compromising
my values, my belief system,
my self-respect.
“I can’t do this anymore. I need
you to leave. You’re not good for
me. You’re certainly not good for
my mental health. It’s time for you
to go. Now.”
And then she cast her ballot. For the
first time in four years, she felt
vindicated, powerful. She knew he
would no longer control her every
waking thought. She was free.